tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56971902011-12-13T19:52:25.616-08:00Regular JaneThe Hitchhiker's Guide To <strike>Graduate School</strike> Post-Doc LifeM3noreply@blogger.comBlogger5521100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-32301533399137021992011-05-27T10:11:00.000-07:002011-05-27T10:17:29.011-07:00GoodbyeThis blog has served out her entire purpose in my life and it is with sweet affection that I say goodbye, I will post here no longer. I leave the poem so loved by my late husband, an irreplaceable man who showed love and affection like no other and I can only hope that his laughter rings in my ears and his funny comments echo in my heart loud and clear until the day I die. I love you, my M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-33398157715127945212011-05-05T20:29:00.000-07:002011-05-05T20:31:50.198-07:00And Then there Were TwoThe art of compromise is something not in my nature. I am a deal maker, I do not feel comfortable compromising myself, certain values or in ways that I deem corroding to personal integrity. It's not always easy, but when all is said and done, I'm the one who sleeps in my skin at night, and yes, I sleep well.M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-71252430896156511692011-04-11T13:45:00.000-07:002011-04-11T14:23:58.893-07:00Cartoon NationRaise your hand if you understand difficult concepts presented in cartoon form better than the real thing. Perhaps it's because that in the western world we were all raised in part by being taught something from a seemingly innocuous cartoon, validating everything from our earliest speech to our very family dynamics. A small girl or boy with button eyes and a line of various half M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-60852245789870836942011-04-09T19:53:00.001-07:002011-04-09T20:02:30.035-07:00"Everything I have written to date, and which you have, unfortunately, printed, can be destroyed. With Carmina Burana, my collected works begin." - OrffSometimes I feel a bit like Orff after his composition and staging of Carmina Burana at the Frankfurt Opera. To destroy that which is old frees us creatively to begin a new. And to begin a new after a great scaring of the soul is to be given the M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-91578283019469877732011-04-08T18:21:00.000-07:002011-04-08T19:17:02.408-07:00Lovers in a dangerous time Terrible name for a singer, Bruce Cockburn. But eh, he's Canadian what would you expect? Such beautiful lyrics 'nothing worth while comes without some kind of fight, you've got to kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight'. Not to mention his other song, 'Wondering where the lions are'. This song has taken root in my memory in a way that only one other song in my M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-75244155940838025172011-03-28T18:20:00.000-07:002011-03-28T18:25:19.754-07:00I'm pretty surethat you still have my Coldplay CD. That's ok. It's on my iPOD touch, the one that was supposed to be yours but you instead stayed home for Christmas, sadly my mother gave it to me, having taken off the tag with your name on it. The saccharine melodies ring in my ears, taking me back to a mythical time worthy of legends and worthy of undisturbed but stirring prose. Legends are M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-8369858526832699362011-03-21T16:54:00.000-07:002011-03-21T16:56:58.934-07:00Manuscript #2 Edited and out of my hands. Making video sets and remaking the collaborator's sup figure... people need to learn how to make better figures, these are a mess. Fingers crossed I'll finish this tonight, then it's onto Final figures for Manuscript #3 which was lauded the last place I presented it - It's a good year, I have to number the manuscripts to keep track. whew!M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-61337874893553223982011-03-20T10:43:00.001-07:002011-03-20T10:45:58.073-07:00Rainy dayI love raining days. It's another windy, cuddly, rainy day in southern California. I'm snuggled under a faux fur blanket working on a paper with some TV in the background. The pup is laying at my feet watching TV... with the occasional quiet wuff at any dog that shows up in a commercial. I warmed up a bowl of soup I made last night and had a perfect early lunch. Days like this are almostM3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-39675459037279177542011-03-09T16:38:00.000-08:002011-03-09T16:46:43.671-08:00Those people. You know. The ones that make snide comments. The ones that believe everyone is out to get them, so they had best strike first. The people that live in paranoia. The people that are always looking for that next thing. The people who gossip, who lie, who manipulate, who defame, who delight in the failure of others - even their 'friends' because it temporarily boosts them a little M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-60292902321921096022011-03-01T14:48:00.000-08:002011-03-01T15:04:26.353-08:00Papers, Puppy and GymThe puppy seems to be mellowing, finally. After a 1 hr walk he is relatively calm and happy. It could have been the T-bone with enough steak left on it to feed me that he was given last night that made him happy. Or, it could be that he is finally happy with his routine of doggy park twice a week, the beach twice a week and a walk every morning. He is beautiful. He looks likeM3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-67631599395831062732011-02-15T12:42:00.000-08:002011-02-15T12:43:40.952-08:00Happy Valentine's DayHad a partridge for dinner. It was actually served with a pear which was kind of funny. That being said it was quite possibly the most delicious small bird meal I have ever, ever had - blew every quail and game hen out of the water. Don't know what PJ would think about this if I told him :)M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-69633457074625337782011-02-10T17:53:00.000-08:002011-02-14T14:50:02.131-08:00It's dry and hot here. My knee is good. Hiked 15 miles, the doggy enjoyed it.M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-84979309225541953122011-02-03T14:06:00.000-08:002011-02-03T14:18:53.557-08:00Grant Done. Science Detox. Submission of the grant to be completed this Monday - whew... well that actually wasn't so hard. I guess we will see if I get the funding. In an effort to branch out I do, on occasion read from other fields. But my brain just won't let me focus, it seems to be in a realm of scientific detox in which all I can do is make jokes about research titles...What the scientist M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-60073229733816936212011-01-26T17:17:00.000-08:002011-01-27T10:51:05.430-08:00D-O-N-EI'm done with meetings and talks for a while. Whew. That was exhausting. 6 talks in 3 months. 4 meetings. 2 invited talks. Got another award for the last one... but so, so very tired of talks and traveling. Now it's grant and publication time. I'm co-PI on my first grant. Should be good. Next on to the the K awards. I've been offered positions from San Diego to San Francisco to SwitzerlandM3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-69763829858753905212011-01-13T14:23:00.001-08:002011-01-13T14:38:56.285-08:00I Had The Time of my Life Maybe it's because I'm in the middle of translating our Markov chain Monte Carlo hierarchical model into biological terms, and perhaps it's because I'm listening to the Black Eyed Peas I had the time of my Life/Dirty Bit... but regardless of my excuses, two seemingly unrelated thoughts entered my mind. 1) the Black Eyed Peas would be the perfect band to use in a a M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-77643920612695580372011-01-02T16:29:00.000-08:002011-01-02T17:14:10.775-08:00Wet Winter Wonderland The sun has poked his nose through the clouds twice in 3 weeks, our hot-tub is filled to the brim with rain water. It's been the wettest December in 100 years of Southern California weather history. Remarkably I don't mind at all, something programed in my DNA longs for wild, wet weather.My knee is healing well and I'm finally able to walk around without too much of a limp. M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-7760745013629794832010-12-05T12:08:00.000-08:002010-12-05T12:11:11.079-08:00Knee surgeryone comment: It is so much fun to watch Chelsey Lately on Codeine/Vicodin.M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-44129360594619522062010-11-15T11:52:00.000-08:002011-01-02T16:24:39.475-08:00TimeI'm back at my old desk in the lab. I think I like it much better than my fancy new post doc desk. I can get things done here, people don't drop by to chat with me all day long. Sure it's nice to her about my co-workers life but when the 20th person stops by to chat and it's 2:30 pm and I haven't gotten a thing done I feel that the day is waisted. Not that all of my time has been waisted. I'mM3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-7361691578696528092010-09-15T20:12:00.000-07:002010-09-15T20:14:15.335-07:00Italiano & Talking HeadsThere's an Italian guy dressed in a chef's hat making me a phenomenal dinner, dancing around to the Talking Heads and serving me an ancient French wine while I work on my paper. If I wasn't in love I am now.M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-30457260937903778382010-09-13T10:03:00.000-07:002010-09-13T10:05:08.560-07:00In BetweenSomewhere in between the lobster dinner on the lake at sunset, the stories of Italy and driving home the F430 barefoot and learning to paddle shift in the dark, I realized that this was a most unusual situation and that I am quite in love.M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-56698335420400201192010-09-06T22:15:00.000-07:002010-09-07T02:46:59.132-07:00Knock me over with a featherForget about sweeping me off my feet. Knock me over with a feather is more like it. I think I just met my other half. He cooks, he cleans, he carries my purse and orders pina coladas without batting an eyelash and gives me the cherry. He dances with me - tells me I belong to him and doesn't let another man near me. Sings Katy Perry songs and says things like "she's theM3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-7651913107338663702010-09-01T13:35:00.000-07:002011-01-02T17:21:49.675-08:00Synth PopThe original title of this blog was going to be Italian Physicist v. Fireman but really, I can't be too worried about anything else going on in my life when I'm listening to Erasure. Life is of coarse really good. When I'm at the helm of my own life, I've never failed myself.. I've never run myself ashore or have gotten stranded... when I'm in charge I've been happy... it's when I start M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-51963124447016756992010-08-16T14:55:00.000-07:002010-08-16T15:20:02.189-07:00Refresh: Rinse, RepeatMy knee is finally better after the soccer game. It only took 2 weeks which means my re-tear of my MCL was probably only a grade 2. Which is great. I've been running on it again and the pup and I did two miles on the beach this morning. He is so good, he stays at my heels or as close as possible when he gets tired he lags a bit. He will only greet people and other dogs when M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-14309460123755939602010-08-15T09:43:00.001-07:002010-08-15T09:50:01.694-07:00Slash-Dot The code for my blog is horribly messed up. Might have something to do with the fact that it is still being posted in the original html (gasp) text that I wrote it in back in 2003 on the advent of my very first day of graduate school spent at home procrastinating. I may fix it, I may be lazy, I may transfer the entire contents of this blog over to my WordPress blog... which will be a M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-56418648818893816052010-08-13T08:00:00.001-07:002010-08-13T11:54:30.563-07:00The OfficeI'm working on a manuscript at home today. It's especially nice that I can remotely log in to the analysis computer and relax in my newly finished office.There's a vase of large purple and white dahlias mixed with butter yellow freesia on my desk, two computers, a framed mission statement of the cancer company I work for signed and dedicated to me by the founder, bookshelves filled withM3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-70930175978320072422010-08-11T16:45:00.000-07:002010-08-11T17:03:00.348-07:00Granted tan. I hate the tan walls in my apartment. But they are, what most people consider to be "neutral". The paint job was good and I'll be renting this place out in a couple of years so it's not worth re-painting. it's a sickly tan, just a little too dark and with some odd mixture of mauve and highlight of yellow in it that just doesn't quite sit right with me. I've long suspected that i'm M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-41428229141433206552010-07-17T00:07:00.000-07:002010-07-17T00:20:24.005-07:00So far, so mediocreWe, as most humans and even animals do, spend our lifetimes carving out a little place for ourselves in society. It doesn't matter if you are rich or poor, you typically pick a specialty, do it with varying degrees of success. We develop these small circles of people we know and ideas we re-create or rip off and we trap ourselves in these ever deepening groves, driven onto the M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-11222173519616275722010-06-04T08:54:00.000-07:002010-06-04T09:04:51.625-07:00Writing Bug. I've been told more than once I can make my living at this balderdash. If I really tried perhaps I could. It would be fun and though difficult at some junctures it does suit me. I can't stop thinking up stories and how to incorporate these things into what is ultimately supposed to be 'my book'. Do I make room for the absurd and base the flow on such with some dark undercurrent of M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-27281523506606215522010-06-04T08:52:00.000-07:002010-06-04T08:53:32.778-07:00It's in the cover of confusion and selective information that thieves operate, not in the cover of darkness or night.M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-69442578423283623702010-06-02T15:00:00.000-07:002010-06-02T15:06:41.305-07:00"...and that a dangerous ambition more often lurks behind the specious mask of zeal for the rights of the people than under the forbidden appearance for the zeal for the firmness and efficiency of government.History will teach us that the former has been a much more certain road for the introduction of despotism than the later. And that of those men who have overturned the liberties of republics,M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-38027591192889625942010-05-31T21:01:00.000-07:002010-05-31T21:13:28.154-07:00DylanListening to a cadre of Bob Dylan tonight. It's completely silent in my apartment for the first time in almost a year. The bird is not here. Surprisingly he loves the kitten and is so very happy about having another animal around it's striking. So they are staying together in Irvine and I am alone in sweet silence, well silence colored by Dylan tonight. Life is a whirlwind right now, a M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-73942174754941528902010-05-21T17:27:00.000-07:002010-05-21T17:29:36.708-07:00Reno in MayIt took me at least one bloody mary, ok, only one bloody mary to acquiesce and connect to the local public network in the airport where I sit today. In the Denver airport it seems fine, in Houston it’s a crap shoot, in Reno it just feels dirty like I’m rolling around on a casino floor expecting not to get a disease or keep my computer virus free. Nevermind the agreement that I just M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-2460873282711940772010-05-11T19:49:00.000-07:002010-05-11T19:58:50.842-07:00Marketing my FertilityI admit I tend to buy most things I need online. I find it the most time efficient way to shop. I can read reviews, shop around and have it all delivered to my door while I am at work running an experiment. I've been quite happy with 99% of my purchases, in fact this is how I aquired my latest vacuum and ottoman as well as my spring wardrobe updates. My neighbor's joke that M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-89217457581151702752010-05-07T13:43:00.000-07:002010-05-07T13:48:48.309-07:00For the Masses Many things as of late seem incredibly bizarre to me. Perhaps a late bursting of my academic bubble... but CNN takes the cake today. Two articles from this 'news' source have me officially befuddled about our collective lack of intelligence and ability to self-govern. The first being that people attributed refraction of light through our atmosphere as an act of god (there was a M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-3509240129508182642010-05-05T12:05:00.000-07:002010-05-05T12:06:35.456-07:00In KindIt strikes me as bizzare that a major univeristy would institue a "kindness" month, implicating that 1) we all need to be reminded to be decent human beings, 2) that we can go back to being jerks when it's over? Disconcerting that people have to be reminded to be kind... but I guess the world is generally disconcerting to anyone paying attentionM3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-81894785139910298172010-04-28T19:12:00.000-07:002010-05-05T12:15:52.271-07:00Automatica It's not that there are so many tractable problems in this world, it's that there's a dearth of lazy people. Lazy is a nice word for some of the people I've been dealing with over the last few days. Sure I may be in a bubble of academia, but even that has been burst lately when dealing directly with a select few infiltrators. Amazing, simply amazing what the human brain is incapable ofM3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-78074089486685975392010-04-07T08:03:00.000-07:002010-04-07T08:30:10.464-07:00Women, Fire and Other Dangerous ThingsSo yes, my last post was a bit full of general angst towards the world. And why not? I've suffered the battery of a catholic upbringing and several failed relationships along with all associated guilt. Sure it could be worse, I could have had a much worse hand of cards dealt to me - I know - but this is my blog, you can go read someone else's if you need to M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-72506472652486089512010-03-16T19:57:00.000-07:002010-05-05T12:12:04.085-07:00So Much for the Afterglow Somewhere between The Call's Here's to you, Wilco's Eventhough and VHS or Beta's Burn it all down, I decided to post this blog and use an Everclear song title. I should be in yoga class, right now, oh yes I should be. But I'm not. I'm having a bit of trouble focusing. Someone has managed to irk me for the final time. To transfer, from another state depression, sadness, M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-67729189605532276372010-03-14T10:48:00.000-07:002010-05-05T12:14:41.572-07:00Built to SpillAfter reading some of my posts and some of my writing in other arenas I realized that my literary skills have slipped into the realm of twitter and facebook updates. Where they were before, is irrelevant to this discussion, let's just assume I was trying. I have not sat down to write much of substance since that book chapter on imaging last year. Though I'm overall happy with it - M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-45865203348731481942010-03-05T17:38:00.000-08:002010-03-05T17:50:04.736-08:00Reinterpreting modern culture: An introduction to Friedrich Nietzsche’s philosophyI like that I can download this entire book from the library at Purdue. I love that so much of education in life is free and that I've never had to pay someone to tell me what to think, only to give me a transcript.M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-13463317270544919052010-03-02T08:59:00.000-08:002010-03-02T09:11:54.613-08:00It's a Beautiful MorningWork is ticking along at a fantastic pace, I actually feel like it is getting all done, slow but getting there. I feel loved and appreciated. Skiing on Thursday. Perfect weather. Good food. Good fellowship. The market is up, at least today. Happiness after the last year or more of pain and turmoil has truly begun to seep it's way into my life. I feel good, fantastic even. M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-65523142589096612002010-02-26T18:24:00.000-08:002010-02-26T18:28:22.605-08:00Ice Hockey and other AdventuresSo Jon was down here for an interview in Newport Beach. He called. Said he was watching hockey at a local bar in a fantastic mall. It was 1:30 pm. I stared at my data analysis. I thought about Finland v. US in the Olympics. 3 sangrias and 2 hours later I was buzzed shopping, I have 2 nice new pairs of pants, cute summer sandals, a fantastic top and a cute necklace. M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-75985715814509245282010-02-07T19:33:00.000-08:002010-02-07T19:35:51.859-08:00Gone, Forgotten. People like to say gone but not forgotten when they are desperately trying to hold onto something. Forgotten is what you strive for when you want to move on, but gone, unfortunately takes longer. Longer being something relative, what it is relative too only time will tell.M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-20290559472394591702010-01-29T10:25:00.000-08:002010-01-29T10:36:21.778-08:00nothing to do with anythingThat's how I started this blog. nothing to do with anything, in a time before the media had started to even use the word blog, I thought this would be a good idea. I wrote my own simple HTML code for colors and layout and low and behold I had an online diary of sorts. "A true blog" as one of my readers has called me in the past. I've watched myself grow, opinions changeM3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-2978929606641477882010-01-26T21:32:00.000-08:002010-01-26T21:34:36.759-08:00White Tipped flowers, jasmine green tea, leaf green table, rain drops, work, warmth, deep sofa, vermont mug and happiness.M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-91376042562007521372010-01-22T10:15:00.000-08:002010-01-22T18:36:33.759-08:00That will be quite enough, from you, little miss.My approach to my life thus far is chiefly characterized by hedonism. That and a complete disregard for authority and the general opinions of others (which in line with hedonism, does indeed make me happy). In order to pull this off with aplomb I’ve cultivated the ability to blend into almost any situation.Two recent events made me briefly questionM3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-4321592251326704512010-01-18T12:09:00.000-08:002010-01-18T12:20:48.965-08:00Fireflies in the Rain Where do they go? The only place I've ever seen fireflies was in Santa Barbara. Johanna and I were having dinner on the porch with Lani (her dog) and we noticed glinting off in the distance bright little darts of light. Richard (her husband) and Ray (neighbor)tried to tell us that we were seeing things. Nate just thoughtfully took another drag on his cigarette thoughtfully M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-28182880784206057232010-01-14T12:23:00.000-08:002010-01-14T14:54:16.598-08:00Terra FirmaAll silliness shelved and set aside, I am in a state of shock and I find myself acting like the weird one. I guess I always like to push boundaries... or I'd gotten myself into that habit as a result of paranoia and bizarre behavior from others. So I would push their boundaries in seemingly unrelated areas to get the answers I wanted out of them which were otherwise not forthcoming. M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-57767338843139941062010-01-13T09:52:00.000-08:002010-01-13T09:53:18.108-08:00Proof!Proof that good guys still exist is sitting on my floor putting together a dresser for me while I am supposed to be working. I have to get back to work. life is good.M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-25447594105925987852010-01-12T15:07:00.000-08:002010-01-12T15:27:56.122-08:00Lo-Fidelity AllstarI am a creature of habit without established habits. Hence the pineapple-upside down cake + ice cream for lunch. Not to mention the trouble I have re-establishing my killer work ethic upon rearrangement and moving my apt. Today is the first day it is coming back and I like that feeling. In addition to all of my evil activities of this morning, the parrot just called me a punk. M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-19923068715600471392010-01-11T12:30:00.000-08:002010-01-11T12:40:23.254-08:00In Essence It's good. All good. I am sitting in the messy but moved into apartment, feeling like my furniture is horribly inadequate and noticing all of the little things I want to change, rearrange and fix. It's a little embarrassing, like someone you want to impress walking into your life and seeing that under the cool veneer you are, in fact a bit disorganized, wishing so much that things had M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-48782031710158930402009-12-24T23:27:00.000-08:002009-12-24T23:29:47.015-08:00Awesome Birthday! Hiking Gear!!! IPOD! Dinner with my Family! Skiing later this week with friends :) life could not be better!M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-1326098996251631202009-12-24T18:03:00.000-08:002009-12-24T18:05:32.718-08:00Santa's On His Way! I love spending time with my family! Wonderful people, good food, laughter and joy. What Christmas is all about LOVE and FAMILY. Plus my brother must have read my mind - he gave me the most perfect gift I have gotten in years.M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-81779586755721146772009-12-20T18:09:00.000-08:002009-12-20T18:11:15.878-08:00Run like Hell I just ran, then I ran again, then I lifted some weights then I ran some more. Feels amazing. If someone doesn't put the effort into something but continually says they care, at what point are you supposed to stop believing him/her? I guess it really matters how much you care about the situation.M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-3341394186513572162009-12-20T09:30:00.000-08:002009-12-20T09:31:22.016-08:00Thank you! I LOVE Christmas cards! Thank you my lovely friends :)M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-14703430738130334892009-12-19T11:53:00.000-08:002010-01-11T09:32:13.932-08:00Stop! As bizarre as this sounds, sometimes I think that 11 year old girls and gay guys have a lot in common. For example, Erasure. Find one 11 year old girl that doesn't like erasure songs (even if she doesn't know who they are) and I will give you a cookie. That being said, I'm packing for Tahoe before heading back to the lab and dancing around like a little girl to erasure. Stop!Stand there M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-36512885800154847862009-12-18T15:53:00.000-08:002009-12-18T16:00:11.533-08:00New, Novel, Nice Believe it or not, I'm actually the kind of person who gravitates towards the simple things in life. Nice things. I have a great love for things of beauty and the outdoors and I don't mind pursuing it. But what makes me happiest sometimes is the simple appreciation of beautiful things. Most people could not understand how I happily lived in a 200 square foot apartment for a year M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-44134251303490274812009-12-16T15:26:00.000-08:002009-12-16T18:51:46.272-08:00In the Holiday Spirit Christmas. Family. Mom. Dad. Sister. Brother. Cold air. Snow. Big dogs. Fuzzy kitties. Comfy bed. Hot coffee. Roaring fire. Ski. Running through crunchy snow. Snowshoeing. Snow ball fights with sister. Shopping. Movies. Sleeping. Decorating Tree. Favorite steak house for my Birthday. Hugs. Feeding hungry sparrows. Winter ice fishing. Eagles. Bears. Mountain lions. Wrapping M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-70089159450118527072009-12-15T13:31:00.000-08:002009-12-15T13:36:00.930-08:00Resolved, Dissolved. All I can say is that it is over. At least I am no longer feeling tortured and scared - like I am fighting for my life - a life I dreamed of, we dreamed of. It will take me a long time. I have at least learned that I have to allow for myself to cry and really feel the full scope of what this has done to me. I am not sure I will ever be the same. I didn't know the pain could M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-253800373305675872009-12-04T18:59:00.000-08:002009-12-04T20:10:53.054-08:00Your hands and feet are mangoes but you're going to be a genius anyway. This week has been a bit of a journey through the self for me. I met my inner child at the end of a yoga class during meditation, she is beautiful and strong, content in her play and completely unconcerned with anything outside of her imaginary world, least of all an older insecure and confused version of herself wanting ask M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-18410350185843415192009-11-26T20:54:00.000-08:002009-11-27T09:37:26.912-08:00To Learn and to TeachAre two different verbs in the English language. Sometimes people come into your life and teach you something valuable, sometimes you learn something from them. Sometimes you share both. I have been taught and learned...That the cowards, the liars and those who choose cruelty over a path of righteousness are the people who believe that what others say is the most important.M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-59645052417865285842009-11-26T12:48:00.000-08:002009-11-26T19:43:21.074-08:0090,900Writing is fantastically therapeutic. Therapeutic in the same way music, dancing, singing painting and piano playing are, except that writing is a quiet internal process. Other than the rhythm of my own typing, letters flying under my finger tips in soft staccato to place my feelings, my half-formed ideas into a physical presence. An evanescent being like a soft mound of clay in the processM3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-76828791349791019872009-11-20T18:43:00.001-08:002009-11-20T18:44:32.691-08:00When we hold material possesions in higher esteem than the person, we are one step below animals.M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-69772852080227731992009-11-18T21:13:00.001-08:002009-11-18T21:13:28.990-08:00I think I know my problem... I think I want a normal lifeand I try to create itbut I keep forgetting that I am not normalM3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-33613935397139816122009-11-06T20:35:00.001-08:002009-11-06T20:38:38.862-08:00When the World EndsI feel sometimes like later is fine, later is better or maybe there's a never in the future. But somehow I know if the world were ending, if it were all over next week, there are regrets I would have. Regrets of how much wasted time there was between us. Because if the world were going to end, just you and me, would be where I would want to be. Time is finite. One day I know M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-19217524688026384372009-11-05T10:39:00.000-08:002009-11-05T20:46:08.814-08:00Gypsy DenI love having dinner with good friends. What I love even more is when you can have hours upon hours of discussion with a good friend and at the end of it all they say... 'you know I love you'. Friends that really love me and I them, make up some of the richest fabric in my life and I am so happy that I have these people.M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-38803236784375326592009-10-31T19:26:00.000-07:002009-10-31T20:12:18.533-07:00Music a-Mix-inIn my night of flu recovery/making a new mix for a friend (well actually I thought of this well before tonight but the music reminded me) I really think that Lady Gaga and MGMT should be collaborating. MGMT and Lady Gaga are a match made in musical pop heaven - do you guys hear me? Come on - you both have the same cynical take with catchy pop tunes and performance for performance M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-83113464390761283882009-10-31T09:24:00.000-07:002009-10-31T13:33:15.654-07:00Halloween Stock Time to sit down and take stock. Or, in my case, sit up for the first time in three days. The flu completely destroyed me and today, Saturday, is the first time since Tuesday I have been able to sit at my desk for more than 10 minutes without feeling like I am going to pass out. October has been a whirlwind month in which I probably, no, definitely blew about 2x my monthly salary M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-87169724111505428912009-08-19T20:31:00.000-07:002009-08-19T20:43:43.542-07:00You Throw Like a GirlThis is a phrase I have never heard directed towards me. In fact, not that I am overtly masculine but very few tend to venture in my direction with any feminine addresses. There are two exceptions, 1) when a coworker from down the hall started calling me 'Legs' and 2) The odd repeated occurance of being nicknamed "Bunny" by my current significant other. My universe was M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-32972259156283749192009-08-14T11:31:00.000-07:002009-08-14T21:38:26.845-07:00The Liam Show: Best show on the internet Finally a real reason to LMFAO and think WTF all at the same time. Oh my god (OMG) this guy doesn't quit... hillarious!!!!! Just keeps getting better: No Booty Calls... haahttp://www.youtube.com/user/liamkylesullivan#play/user/75668CBD6A342880M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-34654297012194412432009-08-10T16:48:00.000-07:002009-08-10T17:17:46.716-07:00My Ode to the Silent Orange Police ManIn a drunken escapade induced by no fewer than 10 Heinekens, I made off with, yes, another orange traffic cone. Sparking the question in my mind, why do I have such love, such an affinity for these pyramidal, often reflective orange bastions of rules and regulations? A love unrequited and only admitted after a night of binge drinking followed by petty theft M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-56446951373139384562009-08-07T10:17:00.001-07:002009-08-07T10:17:49.353-07:00M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-51098264413474418042009-07-28T10:45:00.000-07:002009-07-28T11:02:52.411-07:00Mika, Mika, Mika...My utter avoidance of the current pop culture wave of music, dismissing it as copycat poptrash has fallen by the wayside. First Lady GaGa with additional tracks dropping off her album caught my ear, attention and has impressed me to no end. Katy Perry just keeps getting better but what an idiodic first single, yeah sell the attractive girl using sex, not her tallent (eyes roll)M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-84816515686544950382009-07-13T22:51:00.000-07:002009-07-13T23:02:12.818-07:00Tweet Tweet Much to my chagrin and largely because of my love affair with perfected prose (though you would never guess it from this blog) I have blindly and consistently aligned myself with those who protest texting and 'tweeting' (are those really verbs?) on Twitter as marking the final decent of American English into grunts and whistles. However, it recently occurred to me, during a desperate M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-35273039959735310292009-07-05T12:17:00.000-07:002009-07-07T12:23:01.378-07:00Happy 4th of JulyI have to admit that my faith in the American people has been slightly restored after this 4th of July weekend. Despite dodging druken southern-cal girls in my little town of Newport Beach while they managed to crash their beach cruzers in a number of phenomenal ways off a perfectly paved bike path (ie: into the sand or someone's front porch), I have, amazingly regained respect M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-29310124751865404532009-07-01T13:50:00.001-07:002009-07-07T12:12:27.109-07:00Some people... are still using 10% of their brain, the rest... TV-Internet rotten. No Runny EggsThe Gay PatriotM3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-38631423963704576522009-06-24T16:22:00.000-07:002009-06-24T17:26:49.121-07:00No Vacancy I'm booked solid this summer. Every single weekend until August is planned. I don't know why I feel so overwhelmed by all of this, but I do. I feel like August can not come soon enough and that it will get here too quickly. In my procrastination I am fighting to take a breath and look around so the summer doesn't slip away too quickly. I can only hope to be as productive and prolific M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-91393338822450926532009-06-23T00:32:00.000-07:002009-06-23T00:40:15.651-07:00Welcome, Dr. In honor of my officially signing off on paperwork to hire me... yes, for less than I made out of undergrad. I have changed this blog's sub-title to The Hitchhiker's Guide To Post-Doc Life. Since my financial status has not increased but my time requirements and expectations have... I am still officially planning to hitch-hike my way around the PostDoc life. What that means exactly? M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-31507046529426018492009-06-18T20:47:00.000-07:002009-06-19T00:33:10.962-07:00ManagementI have to admit, I think I had what is close to a perfect day/24hrs. Yeah, no one wants to hear about that but everything I was worried about went amazingly well, every, stinking, last, bit, right down to the awesome dedication from my DJ friend of a song by Heloise and the Savoir Faire. A congratulatory speech to me (!) sent via air waves from SF, telling me I worked hard, got my PhD M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-30123337278236734762009-06-17T10:19:00.000-07:002009-06-17T11:03:52.980-07:00Shifting Cultural Definitions Expressed in Popular SlangEvidence of Dehumanization in the 21st Century"Fair Enough" "It is what it is"Two common phrases. I heard both of them utter about a year ago. They have been becoming increasingly popular and most of my friends, even my boyfriend use them on occasion. My knee jerk reaction every time I have heard one of these phrases was to cringe. PonderingM3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-77826889898991978352009-06-17T00:53:00.000-07:002009-06-17T10:50:22.684-07:00Last AGS MeetingI read once that Marilyn Monroe was one of the first starlets to use innocent, but overt sexuality to manipulate the media. Case in point her bra strap that 'accidentally' broke during a press/early paparazzi frenzy. She was coy about it and 'surprised'. I've never had my heart beat so hard as during this meeting tonight, I think I was a bit too emotionally invested in the whole M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-20879049518144343252009-05-31T18:56:00.000-07:002009-05-31T19:04:45.434-07:00Mother Russia has a Little Advice (or a Comment) American capitalism gone with a whimper FYI everyone who thinks and believes we are being lead by some great, moral, standup group of American citizens. Across the great Atlantic, we are being called Hapless Sheeple and well... at least the Russians were fighting against their decent into Marxism. ...and I quote: "The final collapse has come with M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-48900456191567805442009-05-12T09:42:00.000-07:002009-05-12T09:44:44.494-07:00Bike... Gone. I can't believe it someone stole my bike right off my porch last night, cut the lock and everything. What a jerk! At least my surfboards are still here... but they are coming inside tonight. What am I going to do with my road-biking shoes now? I'm out 1200... yikes!M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-1235177586876240242009-05-08T18:36:00.000-07:002009-05-08T18:49:21.492-07:00Washing the Blog and Ironing out SentencesSomewhere in the course of my life I seem to have developed a mood that can only be described as cheeky-obnoxious-kitch in which I share the same musical tastes as a flagrantly gay male. That and I typically blog while doing laundry, or actually, I do laundry while I blog so have an excuse for, well, sentences like the one I wrote above. I'm done with my M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-57096678867458360612009-04-28T19:46:00.000-07:002009-04-29T14:06:04.640-07:00And then there was SPAM If you know me, you know I love to cook, food is a creative art, I love finding new delicious foods especially from a new country...And I love that the Dutch boyfriend has kindly provisioned me with Beemster Cheeses, Drop candies, Stroopwaffle, and a custard cake thing I can't remember the name of but I could eat until I stuff myself silly. Delicious every last bite of allM3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-76147353845064698772009-04-23T13:53:00.000-07:002009-04-23T14:19:32.369-07:00Well Hello there ISP # 169.234.127.XX I see you watching me, watch youThe very act of having a blog that can be traced back to me is a potentially dangerous one... except I'm pretty innocuous and not really hiding anything.I actually find it incredibly ammusing and quite flattering that my blog is being searched by someone on the UCI campus, at the above ISP #, operating MicrosoftWinNT and using M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-45146968627677121142009-04-22T19:35:00.000-07:002009-04-23T14:15:15.426-07:00Back in the Lab Again This ridiculous exercise of thesis writing (ie reformatting everything else I've written and repackaging the last 5 years of my life) has served at least one valuable purpose. I actually relished getting back into the lab today and doing real work again. I actually missed the lunches with the out-of-context comments from our international host of scientists, today our M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-68610257300974056172009-04-11T09:05:00.001-07:002009-04-11T10:00:51.634-07:00Echo and the BunnymenMade some awesome music back in the day... another one of my favorites... maybe I just miss blue eyeshadow from the 80s. M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-53861108794800550932009-04-10T20:04:00.000-07:002009-04-10T20:38:30.353-07:00Karma PoliceThat's it. Two more chapters to go. Three done in two days and I've missed my deadline, but damn it I'm not leaving my desk until it is all done. Then, as a reward for finishing my thesis... I get to do my taxes, hooray. While wading through the maddening act of reformatting 100 pages of papers I've already written I have a minimized TV show on in the background. Much to my surprise IM3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-33250829565746926362009-04-09T07:56:00.000-07:002009-04-10T11:26:37.283-07:00Graduate Student in Need of Personal SecretaryLow pay but highly rewarding... hell that's why I'm here right? Upon finding out that the 4th department secretary of the 6 we've had in 3 years forgot to file my advancement paperwork, despite my payment and being told several times (in writing) that everything was filed appropriately, I have decided that the UC System is not to be relied upon for M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-4207238420819381032009-04-02T20:18:00.000-07:002009-04-02T20:59:24.844-07:00Wondering Where the Lions AreIf someone (someone pretty evil) could design a Melanie Specific Hell it would most definitely include re-formatting and re-editing 140 pages of papers I had already written over and over again, making sure every last comma is situated perfectly. If someone could design a Melanie Specific Heaven it would probably include living at the beach with a quiver of surfboardsM3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-89404941944755095902009-03-26T12:51:00.000-07:002009-03-26T12:59:24.612-07:00All you really need... Whilst deep in the bowels of the thesis writing process, and I do mean bowels (it's dark, confining and not very fun)I have found it necessary to emerge both literally and figuratively from the process and take stock. Literally in that I set foot outside of the 200 +/- square foot studio I live in and figuratively in that I show up somewhere in cyberspace writing about M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-2009060286697090662009-03-25T16:20:00.000-07:002009-03-25T17:15:33.295-07:00Silly Rabbit, Trix are for Kids I'm up to my elbows in procrastination. I should probably get back to work but I am finding it so incredibly hard to focus. Out of this procrastination has come a few days of exercise, an excellent music mix that will make my currently negelected DJ friend swoon, and an overwhelming desire to purchase a waterproof helmet camera along with an updated mountain bike. M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-34815934667833275922009-03-23T15:11:00.000-07:002009-03-23T16:03:27.094-07:00So, Where have you been little miss? Well, I haven't been blogging, that's for sure. Honestly it's a pretty mixed bag but like any update I give after not blogging for several weeks I'll just pull the highlights out of my hat.. or the real world that works in 3D, whatever, however you best discriminate between my pixel organization and your coffee cup. So I have a new, shiny, tiny red toy that I M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-49423937163560306692009-03-22T17:25:00.000-07:002009-03-28T09:05:38.501-07:00This Snippet of my Life, brought to you by: "The Best of Craig's List"--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Allow me to complicate your semi-charmed life m4wDate: 2009-01-08, 9:02PM MSTSo, you've got a great job, a house, a car. Your friends are encouraging and supportive. Your family adores you. Dogs, cats, and children flock to you. But, you're just M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-62901304227372606222009-02-28T13:56:00.000-08:002009-02-28T14:27:59.654-08:00Human Behavior: Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down. The Case of Police Officers and Accidental Eye F#@&^%!I'm a little hyper excited about the car. I've had so much fun in the last 24 hours, 201.6 miles of PCH and Laguna Beach Canyon fun to be exact. Having been trained from a young age in car etiquette, I park far, far away from all other cars in any parking lot and will be taking her in for a bath/wax M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-30386485277282688972009-02-08T20:32:00.000-08:002009-02-08T20:32:00.388-08:00Is It Alright? I'm feeling fantastically successful. Does it really take that long to grow up? Does it really take until you are (almost!) 30 to figure these things out - perhaps I'm a little slow. I feel like I just gave the finger to the world, and there are no consequences save that I am free to enjoy myself and do what I want, what I've dreamed of. I never saw what a trap relationships could M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-65309883589275769902009-02-06T14:43:00.000-08:002009-02-06T15:21:29.400-08:00Rainy Days and MusicI'm well into the third chorus of Mic Boogie's remix of Hello Brooklyn, wondering why most remixes aren't this good. I love stormy weather, I find it a pleasant mixture of calming and energizing. Each time it rains here in southern CA, I miss home and realize how much I actually miss the rain. In a creative rampage fueled by an killer work schedule the last couple of weeks M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-23104768079452190142009-02-01T18:02:00.000-08:002009-02-01T18:11:11.175-08:00Distant Early WarningOK I'll admit it, I am a classic rock fanatic, music fanatic in general but I just don't have the time to keep up with it. Does any one else listen to Rush while reading about orphan receptors? One of which I may adopt in the future... every scientist for the good of the world should adopt at least one orphan receptor in his lifetime. Honestly, the title of that song caught M3noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5697190.post-29913548653347650242009-02-01T13:26:00.000-08:002009-02-01T14:55:30.103-08:00Health, Happiness and Chocolate "Patience" - G&R. That's the first song that came on when I sat down to write this blog, which was quite frankly inspired by the overwhelming feeling that I needed to redefine what people think is Happiness; which overcame me while I was putting away the chocolates I acquired this weekend in the place where I usually keep the hard liquor. The song is the first on M3noreply@blogger.com